anticipate:

i’ve always had this theory that noise is mild and fairly quiet in comparison to what people know as silence.

have you ever been startled by a clear sound in the crush of the dark and proceeded to listen as closely as you conceivably can? perhaps in fear of being discovered by the cause of that sound, a reiteration of your worst nightmares during childhood. a monster in the night. possibly to reassure yourself that your imagination is suitably active, you are simply psyching yourself out.

you detain your breathing for as long as your body permits. your limbs are as stiff as the day you will be dead. but the inside of your head rings from the hush that meets you. suddenly it comes rushing back. you expire and inspire more rapidly than before, your heartbeat taints your ears. your muscles move like fluid to prevent any cramping - the bed linen rustles. the fridge clicks over onto a new cycle, the fan is circulating in your sibling’s room, you can hear the sighs and snores of your family, you have an overwhelming compulsion to scratch the mosquito bite on your knee. it becomes immediately apparent that the silence you are seeking is a figment. it’s more clamorous than collective noise itself.

uproar is indistinguishable. you cannot pick out pieces as you please. everything that flows in to your ears and mind continues to flood the senses. sensory overload, you cannot define any one thing, wish as you may.

i can’t believe that peace and quiet exists. invention of the common person.

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